It has been a year of turmoil and change and now that it draws to an end it is time to get back on the horse and get those creative juices following!
After my husbands father pass away on Boxing day last year while we holidaying in Australia at Christmas last year I made some big plans to go back to study to reconnect with my creative passions. This meant a shift in our current lifestyle to downsize not only our house but our possessions and how we think about the next phases in our daughter's life. We sold our place and Prebbleton and moved down a road a bit to Rolleston, not only for the schools but for the lifestyle, it has also freed up some capital in order to support a mortgage on one salary as I look tore-join the student lifestyle in 2020. I started uploading my work onto Displate and have been attempting to teach myself some 3d stuff in Maya - very cool but very complicated - I think I'll stick to 2D :P I've come to realise I know more about Adobe Creative Suites than I gave myself credit for and that it is time to start captialising on those skills, not only for my mental health and well being but for my job satisfcation. Watch this space as I start to rejig the site and update the works and more into a more creative head space once again! So it's nearly Christmas and I have nothing new to show for the time that has lapsed since my last entry...
This is bad - I have lost my creative mojo - work life has consumed my every waking moment and it sucks! I get home from my day job that pays the bills & puts food on the table but it also sucks all my energy away like a black hole - I wish I could find a way out of this sarlack pit! I have gotten to that point where I know I need to do something about it for my own mental health - I have just had 2 weeks away form work and while it has had it's own stresses - gotta love family life with a 2 and a half year old monster and a 42 year old child who refuses to join the adult world - the bliss of not having to deal with workplace drama has been uplifting (but also a tad devastating)! It has made me realise that I really do need a career change and that I needed it, like, 6 months ago. We are trying for a second child - glutton for punishment I know! - but it is also proving difficult and there is a high potential that it may not happen at all. To put it simply - I am old and with a rather significant birthday coming up in a couple of weeks this has brought all my stresses of family life, work life, perceived lack of personal achievement and all manner of other anxieties into a very singular focus. So much so that I am feeling more lost now that when I freaked out about reaching my 30's - I'm not in denial about growing old at all - honest! So many "what if" scenarios running through my head or "what happens when" and to be honest it's exhausting but as with any brain stimulation I also can't find the OFF button. One thing I did do was apply for a job as a Gallery Assistant - I may not get but it but what I came to realise is that I really want to get back into the arts field somehow and while it may not be as a prolific creator maybe it's as an administrator-labourer-volunteer-assistant type person. Maybe that is my teleportation device out of the black hole that seems to have nearly swallowed me whole. Either way it has made be look at opportunities in a completely different light and maybe I just need to really get out of my comfort zone and find that weird and quirky job that isn't my usual 9-5 (not that it ever is!) so that I can save what is left of my sanity and passion for creating. I still don't know where or how this will happen - all I know is that it must happen - its almost like a preemptive New Years Resolution but its more of a life revelation. I'm going to blame a combination of work - work - volunteer work - an almost 2 year monster - ohh and a little more work! Where the hell did 2017 go - straight out the window with little or no thought to my poor starved creative brain! Going back to work, having Miss B in daycare and also becoming the boss of the volunteer organisation I'm a part seems to have sucked any spare time away from my 2017. So now that we are firmly entrenched in 2018 - it's time to stand up to the brain drain and get into the studio (or on the computer) to start having a play again! I have managed to complete 3x paintings in the last 6 months which was a bit of an effort to be honest. But now that work and hobby-work has become a little more routine I am finding those urges to get back under the ink and canvas are starting to filter back into the mundane, I am even considering setting an alert/alarm to update this damn blog every week (maybe once a month :) ) just to set more routine! I do have a better space and set up now - the spare room no longer just acts as the guest bedroom - it actually has a fold down sofa rather than massive queen bed - which means I now have a decent trestle table to paint at and dedicated cupboards so while high enough from little fingers and mouths, supplies are not hidden away and needing setting up every time I feel the need to paint or draw! It's a really quiet and contemplative space with a beautiful view out into the garden, but also has the capability to crank the tunes through the PS4 or turntable or hunt some some naughty Templar if the day goes a little south. So no excuses - I must maximise my nighttime hours rather than squandering those precious hours by blobbing in front of the tv! No more! I say - life is too short and I want to be the best example to B so I must return to the light and to my roots and get my artistic streak back in the fast lane - no more horse and cart, it's time to bring out the Ferrari 458 :P So it would appear I have discovered a time vortex and have disappeared through it's swirls...
I call this vortex "returning to the workforce" and my what a rabbit-hole a have dove into! I thought it was hard enough dealing with home life + new minion but I have since discovered the next level of time-less-ness and that is of the work life + home life + minion + .... wait - no! nothing else fits as there is the all encompassing need to sleep that simply takes hold and suddenly you've been at work for 4 months and the mini-me is the most popular kid in the nursery at daycare. This is only going to get worse as she gets older - I can see it all now! But where does that leave my creative head space?! Unfortunately it seems to have hibernated for the winter - literally! But I did take solace in a moment of "me-time" (don't panic - it was fleeting!) and have been inspired by the latest evolution out of DC, which is saying a lot as I am a Marvel fan, and a little particular of my super-heroes! Wonder Woman pleasantly surprised me and I now have life goals that at the moment seem quite unattainable - but isn't that the point of lofty goals - and in the mean time have roused the sleeping beast into a napping mode so the potential for "making" can be pursued. I also have a fellow costumer who is helping to enable that beast within me to complete some older projects - so while the scribblings and the flashes of paint may have slowed over the cooler months, there are plans afoot - so watch this space as I may have some updates in the not too distant future. So with a little over a month till Auckgeddon the focus is on sewing and painting. A previous build is getting a makeover for the new season of SW Rebels and the new edition to the family will be doning her first SW costume. Not to mention it will be our first family trip any where and we'll be flying up for it too.
It's one of those events where you try out new things and show off your most recent work as well as catching up with friends (old and new) and whanau. Better go get my painting shirt on! So am I managing to get more work completed and uploaded for sale - yay!
Which has lead to this.... https://felt.co.nz/shop/frankiew What it means is that I'm ticking off a whole lot works that I've had sitting for ages, I can get onto some bigger pieces and works that I have been dying to get onto canvas for a while now. Time to get painting! So I have a entered into the Skulltopia art event https://www.facebook.com/events/498106897049149/ for the Christchurch show. I have a couple of weeks to do with my plaster-of-paris skull as I will, along with many other Chch based artists and then they will be put on display in all their glory at the Great NZ Craft and Design show. Better get my creative juices flowing...
So this is my first attempt at setting up my own website.
So far so good - I have images, I have pages, there is a bit of written language - what could possibly go wrong. |
AuthorLet's see if I remember to update this regularly... Archives
December 2019
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